Fuck appropriateness.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
