I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
