Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
