I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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