Pants 0. Shit 1.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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