he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
