I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
