new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
