My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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