so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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