Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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