'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
