sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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