We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
