It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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