You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
