You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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