Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
