I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
