I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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