I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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