Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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