A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
