so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
