We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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