I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
