I want to make a zoo with you.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
nutella sex= disaster
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
