i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
