I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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