giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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