If that was your dad, he is hot
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
