Joe is yelling at the trees again.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
there is glitter all over my balls
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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