Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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