im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
