Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
