I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
