so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
