Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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