I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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