you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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