new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
