i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
