I'm laying in your front yard are you home
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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