Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
