hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
