Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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