I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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