i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
