I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
