You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
