i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
