Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
