I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
