i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
